ok...this morning there was such a thick haar that not only were the meadows akin to bodmin moor, i was soaked by the time i got to work, despite the fact that it wasnt actually raining, and it was cold. by lunchtime, when i managed to escape from work, having gone to a fucking meeting on my day off, and had to work my early finish due to kevin calling in sick, it had burned off, and its now so gloriously sunny that its 29 degrees in my flat. fucking dancer!  anyway...so its the summer, so it must be time for the olympic torch to make a tour of the uk! honestly, what a pile of gash! its arriving in edinburgh on the 13th june, and comes with its own entourage, which will disrupt the entire city centre when people are trying to get to work...what larks!  thank the lord that its not passing my shop, as on all the route the greggs have to be open, in case it fancies a bacon roll, and lothian road has to open at 6.30am...which means that they will have to be in at 5.30! fuck me dead, the olympic torch is even worse than the pope who at least had the decency to only disrupt princes street, though he would be hard pressed to do that now, given that it has been a war-zone for months due to the tram works! if there are even trams going along princes street in my lifetime, i will be gobsmacked...but not so the olympic torch...because we all have a burning (no pun intended) to see that symbol of world-togetherness and love! why they dont just postpone the games for just now, given the catastrophic state of the worlds finances, which you cant help but consider as bankers, governments, and sometimes whole countries acting like an 18 year old who has just been given a credit card by her parents while travelling on a round the world ticket in her gap year from studying media studies! ie...what the fuck were they thinking?

so...on top of my uncontained excitement about the torch touring our city, we also have that other unbelievably humungously euphoric british back-slapping event...the diamond fucking  jubilee!  we are getting union flag bunting (imagine my delight) but tesco already has it up...there is a picture of her maj, a flag that says 'i love corgis', one that says 'yes maam' and one that says QEII which i always thought was in fact an ocean going vessel rather than a parasite that we all, even binni and kim, have to pay our hard earned moolah for, who grimaces rather that smiles and ;ooks like she has a poker up her royal anus! lets not even mention edward II!

we were asked at work if we wanted to have a jubilee celebration day, which kevin, strangely declined, and then was a bit scared that i would say that i was so pissed off with him for turning down the celebration of the century. ha!  but we are getting red, white and blue cupcakes...which you can have made up into a platter for your, obviously sucessful, this being scotland and all, jubilee street party, of which im sure there will be on every nook and cranny of the city. NOT! but we do get, for the first time ever, a monday and tuesday as public holidays...when i say 'we' i, quite obviously, do not mean greggs employees...we are open both days..but thanks the the munificance of our delightful monarch, do not open until 9am..instead of 7.30, god bless the queen! what a dame! if only she could look like she was enjoying herself for one moment, i would respect her more...nah! probably not!  send them all to the falkland islands...thats what i say!