oh, yes, i know you all should be here. david hasselhoff is here, so is stephen fry, simon callow, miriam margolyes, men doing macbeth on stilts in old college square, virginia ironside, greg proops, sean hughes, the boy with tape on his face, the ladyboys of bangkok and, lets face it, every wannabe comedian, thesbian and pick-pocket in europe, if not the world is here . its all happening! and in a city that is too small, too narrow and just too presbyterian for all this high jinx!

and im sure you are dying to hear what happenend to india and jasper..of course you remember them from last years hilarious blog entry, ('unmissable' chortle magazine; 'lol' festival review,  ' how i did laugh' belinda fisher, 'it made me choke on my steak bake', kim lee,  'i wet my pants over how funny this was' rose coventry, 'so disrespectful' eli brown).

well..give the current economic climate india has not been able to find a job, despite that killer BA in media studies, and is currently having to rent out both bedrooms in the flat that her parents bought her in stockbridge! it has been a real struggle for her, as her parents can no longer afford to pay for her festival lifestyle, and the £1000 a month she gets from her rented rooms barely covers her bill at the beautician, getting those nails done, waxing, facials and doing that hair that she spends all day tossing over her head! if only she hadnt developed a black truffle habit (£25 a jar of 5 at valvona and crolla) she might have been able to -pay off that huge loan  that she 'only got because she had to, like, have fun, eat oysters for breakfast with jasper and go skiing at val desire every year, and, like, text books are sooooo expensive.'.

jasper, on the other hand, packed india in as soon as they both graduated, as he was off to london to become the next director general of the bbc. strangely that hasnt happened, despite that killer BA in media studies.  unlike india, jaspers parents are now paying for him to put on a hilarious show at the edinburgh festival called 'how come everyone thinks a media studies is not a real degree?' its a one man show! once the festival is over he is taking a gap year...or perhaps a whole heap of gap years travelling round the world, meeting the same backpackers in different countries, probably getting dread locks put in his hair on the koh shan road in bangkok, getting tattoos in hindi in india,  and smoking a whole heap of skank in jamaica, where he will get robbed in his 5 star hotel room and shot in the head when he tries to come all over all 'british empire'.

india will never get over her loss.

fuck me dead...this could be a fringe show...all i need is a venue!