As soon as the plane landed in Atlanta, I felt a sense of familiarity and warmth in knowing that I had returned home.  But in my heart were also mixed feelings.  I immediately started to miss all my wonderful friends I`d made in Europe, and the surreal life of backpacking to 11 countries in less than 6 months seemed so far away.  I have found that the only kind of people  who can relate to my experiences are the ones who have also backpacked for an extended period of time.  There were so many things I wanted to express in my blogs but didn`t because I was conscious of paying expensive internet fees or dealing with different keyboards in every country I visited!  As soon as I adjusted to a keyboard, it was off to another country, where I had to adjust to that keyboard and this went on for months!  Again, only something that a fellow backpacker would understand.

I have been home for a month and a half, and while my body is physically here, my heart remained in Europe.  And then there is New York, my home for four years before going to Europe.  It was emotionally difficult adjusting back to the American way of life.  I had grown accustomed to the European way of life and quite loved it in fact! I returned to Atlanta because I had no money left and no home to return to.  Where else does one go but to one`s family in these circumstances ?!  Actually, my sister and brother-in-law offered me a job as their live-in nanny for their newborn son.  I was very grateful for this opportunity!  My mother gave me her old car to drive, a Volvo. 

Returning to  Atlanta was never part of the "post Europe plan," and I always tell people that circumstantially I was "forced" to be back here.  When I try to be diplomatic and private about my situation, I end up sharing these details because people just assume I am being standoffish, vague, or clueless about my life.  The reason I am blogging these details is because nobody can understand why I am back in ATL.  Virtually none of my European friends even knows I am from  ATL. 

Before I left for Europe, I planned very, very carefully and I saved a lot of money.  All of that went to shit and that`s why I returned to America broke and homeless.  That was not part of the plan either!  This is why I don`t plan anything!!!  The original plan was to have a home base in southern France for the entire time I was in Europe.  That quickly fizzled out by the second week I was there.  It is an extremely long and private story.  Some of you asked me about this and I never had the time or desire to explain it while I was in Europe.  Because this plan fell through, I ended up having to backpack for the entire 5 and 1/2 months, which consequently wiped me clean of my savings. 

But let`s rewind back to the 6 months leading up to my travels.  Basically, every decision that I thought I was carefully making in fact resulted in costing me a lot of money while causing me quite a bit of stress.  But no one knew this at the time.  I had 6 months to kill before meeting up with the photographer and his wife in southern France, a plan that ended up in flames.  I got rid of everything in NYC, including the life I`d worked so hard at building (you NY`ers can relate!).  Maybe I didn`t have to take that route but I did.  I didn`t know what to expect from Europe...I had thoughts of settling there for a while...These were the thoughts running through my mind as I flew across the Atlantic Ocean.  I didn`t know what was waiting for me in Atlanta.  I had this deep yearning to return to NYC but with what money?  And then I just experienced the most amazing, life changing moment of my life in Europe, and I knew I wanted to preserve it always. 

My first week back was a confusing, nostalgic, heartwrenching, and just a very weird time for me.  I had shared many deep connections with new friends I`d made; I`d visited the most surreal places on earth; I`d learned so much about humanity and travel; I`d learned a few words in several languages.  Instead of sharing these experiences with friends and family, I felt like people just wanted to hear about the "good times" I had on my "vacation"  instead of the  in depth experiences that had shaped me into a different person. 

When you go through something very deep, profound, and life changing, you want to share it with everyone...but within my first week, I was quickly reminded of the busy American way of life and the sad fact that we don`t really make time for each other.  Fortunately I had Megan to lean on.  We`d met each other on a ferry going from Greece to Turkey, stayed in the same hostel in Turkey, and then met up in Vienna for 5 days together.  Megan is from ATL but was living in Texas for the last 4 years.  We both moved back to ATL in the same week without knowing the other person`s plan! 

So having explained all the reasons that led my moving back to ATL, I feel at peace with the decision and actually it is quite an interesting time to live here again.  ATL changed drastically in my 5 year absence.  I feel as if I am a newcomer in this city, learning my way around and meeting many new faces and businesses.  I used to be the one who knew everything that was going on in the city and I knew everybody everywhere I went.  Now, I am relying on old and new friends to fill me in on the latest things.  This is by far the weirdest adjustment for me!  

I think it was a blessing in disguise that led me to move back.  In my heart, I feel that this is where I need to be for the moment, which is a huge shock for everyone, my friends in America and Europe.  You can`t always explain what you feel in your heart, but the key is to follow it and that`s what I`m doing.  The universe will take care of the rest.  My travels in Europe was by far the best time of my life.  I am staying in constant touch with many of the friends I made there, and there are always dreams and discussions of visiting one another...here, there, or somewhere else!