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4th Jun 2018
Doing nothing!

​call me a lazy old dame, that exercise would be so much better for me, and that im wasting the very short time i have left on the planet, and that there is still so much to see and do in the city i live in...but, on my days off work, i just love doing absolutely nothing! i believe it is a very underrated passtime, and that we should all learn how to let go, think about nothing really important for a day, and just let our body clock tell us what to do. have no timed breakfast lunch or dinner, watch, bingewatch or not watch at all. nap when you feel like it, have a glass of wine when you feel like it, listen to deafeningly loud music, or appreciate the silence, shower dont shower, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR ​BOAT! 

​ are some of the exhausting things i have done/thought about today. 

​got out of bed. 

​looked at the internet, emails, facebook, pinterest, argos, spotify...god it was just so tiring!!!

​answered a call from 'sarah' from internet service provider (sic) tellling me that my broadband was being corrupted from california, though she didnt know which provider i had or what my name was. strangely i just hung up without pressing 4 for 'other' ispns. 

​watched 2 episodes of the new series of 'the handmaids tale'. i read this when i was about 20, and its always stuck in my mind, but (funnily enough) given what is happening in the world right now, and the regressive ideas about the position of women, it seems so poignant. this is our reality...what seemed science fiction 30 years ago now seems like something that could happen tomorrow...and not in a good way!! but i try not to despair, anyone who read 'the chronicles of thomas covenant the unbeliever' back in the 80s would know that despair is the opposite of life, and something that we should never, ever succumb to. and...that perfection is weak, strength comes from being imperfect, being an alloy, being a doubter! being a total cynic, this is, quite obviously, a cornerstone of my life, stephen donaldson apart. season finale of sense8 on the 8th, and rupauls dragrace still to finish....also spent a couple of minutes watching 'love island'. am i alone in finding it just so vacuous, and the 'contestants' so annoying, that i had to turn it off? yeah...thought not..

​my shop now opens at 6.30am!!!! i just cant believe that i can do this....15 years ago, the only time i saw 4;45 was because i had stayed up all night. now its when i get up.! fuck me dead! 

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